Chapter Twenty Three: Over the Moon

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862099...

by Liz

Fighting fractions by moonlight
Challenging teachers by daylight
Reading Shakespeare at midnight
She is the one named Sailor Pi

She would never forget a math operation
Or the rules of heat condensation
Pi is the symbol for a new generation
She is the one named Sailor Pi
She is the one named Sailor Pi
She is the one
Sailor Pi!

"Only thing to do is jump, only thing to do is jump, only thing to do is jump over the moon," sang Maureen, the performance artist. "Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Over the moon, over the moon, over the...mooooooooo. Mooooooooo. Mooooooo. Moo with me!" The entire audience gathered in the 11th street lot began mooing. Arpi had no idea what was going on. What did cows in Cyberland have to do with homeless being evicted from the lot?

"Hey Arpi!" shouted Mark, "Smile for channel 4!" Mark pointed his camera at Arpi and started recording.

"Mark! Thank God. What is this Maureen person trying to tell us?" Mark and Roger stared at her.

"You mean you don't know?" asked Roger.

"Of course not!"

"But... the cows being stuck in Cyberland! Jumping over the moon! That doesn't mean ANYTHING to you?"

"No!"

"Arpi, you are sooooooo dense."

"Whatever. Have either of you guys seen Hanni?"

"Nope, not since you left us in the cafeteria."

"But that was over three hours ago! She couldn't have gotten lost, could she?"

"Not unless she thought you meant London, England!" Mark exclaimed. He and Roger giggled.

"As if," said Arpi, "Only a complete idiot would do that." People were now starting to filter out. Suddenly, Roger heard a familiar voice.

"Roger, is that you?" A girl with bright blue hair and eyes which appeared to be red from crying approached him. Frightened by the sight of his old girlfriend, Roger teleported.

"Mel A.? What are you DOING here?" Mark asked her, "I thought you wanted to find the Spice Girls in...oh my God..." Associating Spice Girl intelligence with their previous conversation, Mark and Arpi immediately started laughing hysterically. Mel A. had been looking for the Spice Girls in the wrong city of London.

"I told you, Bizzie never told me how tall she is without her shoes!" Hanni was getting extremely aggitated. She had been questioned by Dr. Claw and his mad agents for the past three hours and couldn't even give them the satisfaction of one answer.

"You must have SOME information!" shouted Dr. Claw.

"I'm telling you, I don't know anything! Bizzie is an extremely private person!"

"You can say that again," muttered Mad Agent #1.

"What should we do with Hanni?" asked Mad Agent #2.

"She may be useful to us," Mad Agent #1 commented.

"Yes, yes I think she WILL be useful!" exclaimed Dr. Claw. "Hanni, you will dye Bizzie's hair purple or ELSE!"

"Or else what?""Or else you will be eliminated!" Quickly, Mad Agents #1 and #2 strapped a watch-like device to Hanni's arm. "We will be watching you at all times. We KNOW how tall YOU are."

"Yes, Dr. Claw!" Hanni said, relieved that she didn't have to do any real harm.

"Now take this purple hair mascara and GO!" Hanni ran out with a pack of purple hair dye in her purse, only to find herself in the woods in back of the school. What was she to do? Bizzie prided herself on being a redhead more than anything, Hanni could never convince her to become a 'purply-head' alone. Suddenly, Roger appeared before her, holding his guitar as usual.

"Roger! What are you doing here?"

"I just came from Maureen's protest." Hanni stared at him. "You know, Mark's old girlfriend, the performance artist who was protesting against Benny's Cyber Art Studio." Hanni continued to stare. "You know, moooooooo."

"I think you've lost it, Roger."

"Never mind. I ran into my old girlfriend, Mel A, who wants to be a Spice Girl. You have to help me avoid her!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but you have to help me dye Bizzie's hair purple!"

"What?"

"I know! We can get Kenny to tell her that she'd look good that way!"

"WHAT?"

"I'll help you with whatever you said if you help me with whatever I said."

"Sounds like a fair deal to me! Let's move!"

On to Chapter 24

back to chapter 22

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