Chapter Eleven: Time Warp

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862099...

by Liz

Sailor Pi

Fighting fractions by moonlight
Challenging teachers by daylight
Reading Shakespeare at midnight
She is the one named Sailor Pi

She would never forget a math operation
Or the rules of heat condensation
Pi is the symbol for a new generation
She is the one named Sailor Pi
She is the one named Sailor Pi
She is the one
Sailor Pi!



"How can you be the 5th Element?" Kenny asked Mark, "There are only four."

"That's what you think," Mark responded, "But they are wrong. There is really a 5th."

"And that would be..."

"Time."

"How can time be an Element?" asked Bizzie.

"Simple. I travel through time to escape Benny, the evil landlord of Westport, NY. But enough about, let's hear more about YOU." Mark walked up to Bizzie and gave her an interrogating look through his glasses that gave her goosebumps.

"I'm Bizzie," Bizzie told him, "Or Sailor Pi. The digits of pi that I have memorized form a code which gives me a force to combat evil."

"I see," Mark said, walking over to Kenny. "And YOU?"

"Kenny McCormick, former mumbler of South Park, Colorado. I am also Earth, guardian of the Earth because I can morph into the ground."

"Very interesting..."
"Now our turn. Who's Benny?"

Bizzie, Kenny, Mark "Benjamin Coffin the 3rd will be my roommate when I first move into my industrial loft with an illegal wood burning stove. All of the plugs will feed into one long extension cord which snakes its way out--"

"WE KNOW!" Kenny shouted, "Just get to the point."

"Okay, I'll skip ahead then. Benny married Allison Gray of the Westport Grays. Allison's father baught the building and made Benny the landlord. I'm travelling through time to hide from him because..." Mark blushed and paused.

"Because what?"

"I can't pay my rent." Bizzie and Kenny exchanged glances. This was obviously a weirdo, but what if he was telling the truth? "So, " Mark sighed, "Now I'm going to be a 16 year old for awhile here. Anything else you want to know?"

"Yeah," said Bizzie, "What's it like in the future?"

"I'll tell you what it's like in the future!" From somewhere off an electric guitar played strange music. It was as if Mark had transformed, and yet he hadn't at all. From out of no where he began to sing:

Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way

That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game

You're living in America
At the end of the millenium
You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone

And when you're living in America
At the end of the millenium
You're what you own

Bizzie and Kenny were taken aback as Mark continued to sing in his parallel world. One minute he was himself singing about making a film, and the next he was his roommate Roger singing about writing a song. Finally, Mark's performance was over.

Mark "And that," said Mark, "Is what it's like. Now, I must be off. All at once, Mark disappeared.

"That guy is freaky," Bizzie exclaimed.

"Yes," Kenny responded, "But he is one of us nonetheless."

"I wonder why he carries that little video camera around."

"I don't know," Kenny said knowingly, "But I bet we'll find out tomorrow."

On to Chapter 12

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