Chapter 1: Snow Day

Winters were usually bad in the little suburban area where Bizzie lived, but this was so predictable that school never closed when the weather was bad. One morning, when Bizzie looked out her window and saw that nearly 7 inches had accumulated on the ground, she didn't even flinch. A basketball hit her right on the forehead when she opened up her "sports equipment" closet, but this was routine as well. "If only I could drive a snowmobile!" she thought with envy as she searched for her skis. Just then the phone rang.

"Hello, you've reached a very Bizzie redhead," Bizzie said, "Who is it that you wish to speak to?"

"Um, is this the house of Bizzie Lizzie?" asked a confused teenager.

"That it is," Bizzie responded brightly, "And you are?"

"The person whose name comes before yours in the phone chain," the boy responded dryly, "I'm calling because I have to tell you that there's no school today."

"What? No school today?"

"That's what I said."

"But why?"

"Oh, wait, are you that weird girl in my homeroom who's like 2 years ahead of me in math?" Bizzie narrowed her eyes.

"Probably, why?"

"Then you figure it out."

"Why that obnoxious- Alpha! Beta!" Bizzie's pet frogs obediently leaped into their place in her purse. "We're going to school anyways. Something funny's going on around here and I'm going to find out what it is."

Despite her lack of athletic ability, Bizzie managed to ski the two miles to school in about a half hour. What she found when she got there, however, was not worth the trip.

"Closed due to whether conditions?!" Bizzie exclaimed outloud, "But it snows like this EVERY winter! I don't understand!" The only response Bizzie got was the sound of a snowmobile racing by. She recognized the driver to be a girl in her history class named Britney.

"No school today, Bitsy!" Britney called to her.

"My name is BIZZIE!" Bizzie shouted over the noise of the motor. "B-I-Z-Z-I-E!"

"Whatever. See ya, Bitsy."

"Bitsy," Bizzie grumbled to herself, "Itsy Bitsy Liszty."

"Listzy? Isn't that the name of a composer?" Bizzie turned around to find her old friend Jeffy laughing at her.

"Jeff!" she exclaimed, "I haven't seen you in ages! And in answer to your question, yes- I mean, no- I mean, well, LISZT was a composer but..."

"I know and I know! I was just on my way home when I heard you spell your name out to someone, and who else has the name Bizzie in this small town?" Bizzie grinned.

"But, Bizzie, why haven't you been in school for the past four months?"

"Why, whatever do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. It's like you disappeared or something."

"Well, maybe I did."

"Whatever." Just then, the two heard a strage beeping noise. "Mel, Mark, Roger, and Kenny are at the cafe. Wanna come?"

"Sure! It'll be great to see everybody again."

"So it's NOT just me that you've been avoiding!"

"I haven't been avoiding anybody, Geoff."

"Whoa, you spelled my name right. Something MUST be up."

Bizzie's old friends were delighted to see her and had endless questions about her whereabouts, but she managed to subtly turn the conversation around so that four months appeared to vanish. On the subject of the Canadian High School Mathematics Examination, however, Bizzie immediately shared her thoughts.

"I am incredibly stressed out about that," she told her five friends, "Today was supposed to be our review day, and school got cancelled! Can you believe that?"

"What IS the Canadian High School Math Exam, Bizzie?" Mel asked.

"It's this math competition for seniors all over Canada. The person with the highest score gets an award."

"Only CERTAIN seniors," Mark grumbled, "But Biz, you're not senior, right?"

"I got special permission," Bizzie told them, "But now I'm wishing that I hadn't. If I get a bad score, I'll be humiliated. And all because of some snow."

"Yeah, and they never cancel school."

"Maybe they wanted to give us a day off," Mel offered.

"Maybe it's an evil conspiracy," Jeffy predicted.

"Maybe they don't want Bizzie taking the CHSME," Kenny said with a laugh. Jeffy's eyes widened.

"Of course!" he exclaimed, "They know that Bizzie would beat everybody if she knows what's going to be on it! But since they cancelled the review day, she's going to do really badly. Her lack of elementary math skills is finally going to show through!"

"Thanks a LOT, Jeffy," Bizzie said, glaring at him, "The problem is that you're right. If I can't review for this test there's no way that I'm even going to compare to the juniors and seniors that have taken it before. But as for your conspiracy theory, I don't think that's plausible."

"Hi Bitzy," a too-familiar voice came from behind Bizzie, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" The people at the table were too shocked to even correct her.

"Why are you guys so traumatized?" Bizzie asked, "This is Britney. She's a senior in my math class."

"Britney...SPEARS?" Kenny asked incredulously.

"That's right," she said, "I take it you've heard my songs."

"Um, yeah, who hasn't!"

"Can I join you guys for lunch?"

"Suureee," Roger said in awe. Mel promptly kicked him under the table. "Hey!" To Bizzie's horror, the boys at the table couldn't take their eyes off of Britney. You remember when you and the girls met Leonardo DiCaprioBizzie's conscience told her, This is how the guys felt. Somehow, though, the situations didn't seem comparable.

"Wow, Bizzie, I can't believe you know Britney Spears!" Mark exclaimed after Britney left.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"I must admit that her songs do have certain quality to them," Mel told Bizzie.

"Yes, yes, yes."

"She is a good singer," Jeffy admitted, "But Bizzie, I can't believe that she's in your math class."

"Who is that an insult to?"

"Wait a minute!" Kenny exclaimed, "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Kenny, no one's ever thinking what you're thinking," Mel told him.

"What if Britney Spears is behind the snow?"

"Yeah!" Mel echoed sarcastically, "And what if she hit our town with snow and made school close just so Bizzie wouldn't compete with her on that math exam?" Jeffy gasped.

"Mel, you're a genius!"

"I was JOKING, hello!"

"I guess it makes sense," Bizzie told them, "But I think we're jumping to conclusions here."

"Yeah, Bizzie just wants a reason to hate her," Mel teased.

"No, I mean... I just can't stand her calling me Bitsy!"

"Itsy Bitsy-"

"Stop it!" Just then, Britney walked through the door and towards their table. "I think I forgot my makeup bag," she said as she frantically looked on the floor for it.

"All right, Britney, the game's over," Kenny said boldy, "We know what you're up to and we won't stand for it. Earth star power, make up!"

"Um, Kenny, I believe that I was the one who realized that this whole snow day thing was an evil conspiracy," Jeffy told him after his transformation, "Fire star power, make up!"

"Ah, but I was the one who prompted Mel to figure out exactly what was going on."

"You did not!"

"Did too!"

"Stop!" Bizzie cried, "We don't know that Britney has done anything wrong!"

"YES WE DO!"

Britney got up and looked at Bizzie straight in the eye.

"Go ahead, Bitsy, use your little pi powers to trap me or tranquilize me or whatever it is that millions of random numbers can do. But what good will THAT do? School's already been cancelled, and you DON'T know whether I'm the cause of it. You're just going to have to fail the exam!" Bizzie remained silent until she finally broke down and cried. Britney just laughed at her.

"HEY!" Mel, Mark and Roger yelled together.

"No one pushes Bizzie around like that," Kenny told her.

"Fire ring ACTIVATION!" Jeffy screamed. Britney was instantly trapped inside what appeared to be a hula-hoop made of fire.

"Earth vocal elimination!" Kenny yelled. No one knew exactly what Kenny had done until Britney opened her mouth to speak and nothing came out. Everyone applauded.

"Bizzie, it's okay now!" Kenny told her, "Britney's trapped inside a ring of fire."

"Do you think that makes everything OKAY?" she sobbed, "What about the Canadian High School Mathematics Examination? She's probably going to come after me tomorrow so that I can't even try to get an award." Britney appeared to be cackling even though no noise could escape from her mouth. Just then, she got a very funny expression on her face. She dropped her makeup bag in pain and started pointing to it like she wanted someone to do something to it, but no one did. Next, she appeared to be casting a spell on it, but nothing happened. Finally, all that was left of her makeup bag was a cloud of smoke and some ashes. Jeffy and Kenny quickly undid their attacks, but Britney didn't even seem to notice.

"My makeup bag was my power!" she cried, "You little FREAKS burned it! Now I can't make snow or cancel school or do anything except sing other people's songs." More applause came from the table. Britney stormed out in tears.

"So you were right after all, Mel," Bizzie said incredulously, "Way to go. I honestly didn't think that there was anything strange about that girl."

"Um, I believe the credit goes to me," Jeff said proudly.

"You mean ME," Kenny told him.

"No way!"

"But what am I going to do about the exam?" Bizzie asked, "I still don't know what's going to be on it."

"Well, do we know anyone who has taken it before?"

"No. It's hopeless. Maybe Britney can't do anything else to me, but she'll probably do a lot better than me on the exam."

"Bizzie!" an older woman exclaimed, "Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I have the review packet right here if you'd like to take a look." Bizzie stared at her math teacher for a second, then received the information gladly.

"Mrs. Arcsine, you have no idea what a relief this is to me. I've never taken the exam before-"

"Yes, I know, but I'm sure you'll do just fine. See you tomorrow!" After she left, Bizzie flipped through the 20 pages quickly but still didn't look any less nervous.

"I haven't seen these concepts in so long," she thought out loud, "I don't know how-"

"Bizzie," Mark said gently, "Might I remind you that you are more in tune with math than anyone in this whole region. I'm sure you'll score better than anyone."

"But, Bizzie," Jeffy began, "Why is this so important to you? It's just a contest. It doesn't count for anything. You've never been this competitive."

"I don't know what's with me," she said, "It's like I have to prove to myself that I am in tune with mathematics, that I AM still Sailor Pi."

"One test doesn't prove anything, Biz," Kenny told her, "No matter what score you get, you're still the same person." Bizzie nodded, though wasn't completely convinced. "That is to say," Kenny continued, "We won't view you any differently if you do poorly. We know the truth and you know the truth. So just forget about it." She nodded and smiled this time.

"Now that that's settled," Jeffy said, "Why HAVEN'T we seen you for the past four months, Bizzie?"

"SO, where are Hanni, Arpi and Sari?"

"They're on a ski trip, but that is TOTALLY beside the point, Bitsy."

"Did you just call me..."

"Itsy Bitsy Liszty!"

"Liszty?" Kenny asked, "Wasn't that the name of a composer?"

"And a very good composer at that," Bizzie said, "In fact, I must tell all of you about the piano pieces I've been working on lately..."

Six weeks later, the phone rang at Bizzie's house. "Hello, you've reached a very Bizzie redhead," she said, "Who is it that you wish to speak to?"

"Biz!" Jeffy exclaimed, "How did you do on the CHSME?"

"I got third place in my school!" she said excitedly, "Can you believe it?"

"Congratulations! We knew you could do it, Biz."

"I'm sure you and whoever else is takes it senior year will do great as well."

"Yeah, maybe. So, are you going to tell me why we haven't seen you in so long?"

"Nope."

"Oh, why not?"

"I'm just too busy."



Back to Sailor Pi's Main Page